dust is a flyin'!

The renovation is in full swing!

Doesn't the Bible warn of things like fire, flood, pestilence, famine and wallpaper removal?


If you've never tried wallpaper removal, try pushing an enormous boulder up a hill with your nose for comparison....while someone is greasing you AND the boulder down with Crisco shortening.



(this was when I had my near nervous breakdown and started binge eating the ho ho's)


or was it sheet rock dust...the finest of all the dusts... (oh! don't be silly! who needs lungs?!?)(or drop cloths?)





Other harrowing scenes from the renovation include:



Cave Crickets!:



No matter what my pal, Lisa says....cave crickets (aka "Jumping spiders" - because they are blind and upon sensing you, become defensive and jump AT YOU instead of AWAY from you as you try to kill them), are not harmless and of no concern. I once talked my mom into wallpapering the INSIDE of a tiny, dark closet for me just to keep these nasty S.O.B.'s out.



Paint that in no way matches the paint swatches!:




Yikes! But there's more!:



(I'll let YOU guess which one we went with...)

(AND how much money we've wasted on useless quarts of paint that only a blind cave cricket could love)


and more!:




(I like the tiny blue blob on the right hand side as if to say, "I give up!!"


and finally....


Fork through the knee!:




Believe it or not, this wasn't during a drunken paint-color-picking frenzy, but instead while trying to remove staples from hardwood flooring with a dinner fork (after boasting and bragging all night about how cool I was for having thought of this ingenious staple removing method). You haven't felt the pride of home ownership until you've felt sharp metal on knee bone!




But, alas! I think that the worst is behind us. We've zeroed in on a lovely shade of blue for the dining room, the HAZMAT team has gone, and we've got our shrine set up in the basement.




Stay tuned....