Summer

"Summer will come with Al Green and sweetened iced tea. Summer will come and be all green with the sweetness of thee.."

- Clem Snide



I was at a party last night where some people were talking about the interesting trips they took this Summer. Someone turned to me and asked me where I went for Summer vacation. I responded that I didn't go anywhere then took a step back and leaned against the kitchen counter for a second and prepared to feel jealous regret.

I then looked across a room full of laughing, friendly strangers backdropped by a wall plastered with scattered paint chips the color of aqua blue swimming pools and clear Summer skies. I looked down at my toes painted a bright cherry red in open-toed sandals and looked up at a tall smiling man who I didn't know a a few months ago as Spring morphed into Summer with thick, humid haste. My regret melted.

"What I did this Summer" by Kelly, age 34

I sat on a blanket under dark night starry sky in the shadow of the Parthenon replica glowing like quick-silver while My Blue Heaven played from a vintage victrola. Behind a content smile, I breathed the cool night air as if it were my last breath and asked to hear the song again.

"a turn to the right, a little white light will lead you to my blue heaven..."

I took a day off of work and got my first tattoo - a small retro girl in mary janes, checked dress and dark hair standing in consideration of a warning sign marked "DANGER ART".

"Just don't forget to breathe. You'll pass out."

"It hurts more on back fat."

"I do not have back fat!"


I sat afterwards watching a friend get her first tattoo, listening to Social Distortion on the stereo and the whirring sound of the tattoo gun. I smiled to myself as the ink in my skin began to burn a little and listened to a conversation about soundtrack choices for S&M.

" I told him , ' You are not going to beat me to Duran Duran ' "


I saw some great music shows and some not-so-great music shows.

" Here's one I wrote about stock cars and purty girls..."


I stayed up late. I raged against Mondays. I fell in love.


" I met in the street a very poor young man who was in love. His hat was old, his coat worn, his cloak was out at the elbows, the water passed through his shoes -
and the stars through his soul."



I saw the original Godzilla on the big screen. I repeatedly watched High Noon on the edge of my seat. Cary Grant was spared. Tokyo wasn't as lucky.

"And in the end you wind up dyin' all alone on some dusty street. For what? For a tin star. It's all for nothin', Will. It's all for nothin'. "

I saw Rock City. Memphis creeped me out. Memphis made me feel thankful. I considered a new career in miniature golf and reconsidered a career in photography. I heard over breakfast that we had now lost over 1000 soldiers.

"There have been 1,140 coalition deaths, 1,009 Americans, 65 Britons, six Bulgarians, one Dane, two Dutch, one Estonian, one Hungarian, 19 Italians, one Latvian, 10 Poles, one Salvadoran, three Slovaks, 11 Spaniards, two Thai and eight Ukrainians, in the war in Iraq as of September 11, 2004."

I painted myself out of my security deposit.

"Well, it looked lighter in the bucket.."

I continued to look for messages in the stringed words of email spam and discarded newspaper horoscopes.

"We have human sex in our perfume. Calibur. Calligula. Ladder. Strut. Ample. Windfly."


I threw darts at a naked back. I shaved my first mohawk. I gained back that eight pounds.

"161"

I walked out of a hospital with a limping, spared friend leaning on my shoulder. I saw Mason and Jodi move away. I saw Sam move away. I reconsidered Nashville. I made friends. I laughed. A lot. I was too honest at times. Sadly, not at others. I deleted my internet dating profile. I screwed up my sleep schedule. I took hundreds of photos that still sit on my hard drive like hieroglyphics. I added a Johnny and June song to my shower set list, singing both parts to the chagrin of delicate eared tabby cat.

"We got married in a fever, hotter than a pepper sprout.."

"Meowwwwwwww."

"...we've been talkin' about Jackson ever since the fire went out."


I stood staring at dark patio balcony and realized I had let go.

"I'll be damned. I've let go. "

I saw my grandfather's birthday pass on the calendar and realized that I couldn't send a card.

"I miss you."


I felt old. I felt young. I felt scared. I felt comforted. I felt. Like crazy.


"Summer is the time when one sheds one's tensions with one's clothes, and the right kind of day is jeweled balm for the battered spirit. A few of those days and you can become drunk with the belief that all's right with the world."

-- Ada Louise Huxtable