It is ALIVE.

Well folks, this is it. The launch of the much lauded website. It has taken two days of hard work to get it up and going. I must thank Jerry for all of his help. He is the Sergeant Carter to my Gomer Pyle…and I mean that in the best possible way. Without his knowledge, this would never have been possible. So, in that regard, please send any letters of complaint to his mailbox…you know where he is. I promised him my first-born child so I am sorry, Mom and Dad. He said something about selling it to buy a new guitar though so perhaps you can get in on the bidding war and win yourself a grandchild!

It has been a pretty uneventful weekend around the Sideways House. Lots of productive things going on all over the house and three days off from work almost behind us now. My heart feels wistful right now. Perhaps it is because Nat King Cole is singing “The Christmas Song” on my stereo. Heck, he just started singing it and it didn’t seem right to stop him what with all the chestnuts roasting on open fires and all.

I went to the local grocery store this morning (to buy more protein, no doubt) and was struck by the thread that binds humanity. No…no…not that we all have to pay whatever the hell grocery stores decide to charge us. You see, I was standing in the canned vegetables and fruits aisle and noticed that the sound system was playing “All By Myself”. I know you’ve all heard it. The lyrics mournfully go on and on (and on, believe me), “All by myself….don’t wanna be…all by myself….” I thought, “Oh great. I am such a loser buying groceries for one – worrying about buying large sizes because they will spoil and staring wistfully at the randy couples pictured on the condom boxes." It was then that something snapped and I started looking around and noticing how many other people were buying groceries for one. At one point, I noticed a gentleman eyeing me. I thought, “Oh no. Don’t let this be one of those grocery store pick-ups that they talk about on Oprah. This guy looks twice my age!” Turns out he just wanted to know where I got my strawberries. No. Really. He only wanted strawberries. Would it have hurt him to flirt a little?? What ever happened to the days when people looked out for the feelings of others?

The song played on and I started to sing along in my head a little - though mind you, with my inherent dark sense of humor. I looked at all of the items labeled “family pack” and wondered how I could commit suicide with each item. Believe me, this took some thinking. I was only glad that it wasn’t Valentine’s Day. Somehow, that song may have taken me right over my proverbial edge if it had been Valentine’s Day and I had been surrounded by red frilly hearts , Hallmark greetings and edible underwear. I walked to the paper goods section and noticed that the guy stocking the shelves was softly singing along as well. I imagined that we were in some grand Hollywood musical and that all of a sudden we all could jump up in song and perform a beautifully choreographed musical number. Needless to say, we never did. The next song played was the theme from “Shaft”. I don’t know what marketing genius put together this mixed bag of tunes but he had a mighty hilarious sense of humor. My mood lightened a little as I watched people singing along to the good parts – “Damn right…”, “I’m just talkin’ ‘bout Shaft…” We all seemed to take on a slick, urban stride. And even the little grandma who grinned sweetly at me in the U-Scan aisle seemed to agree that times are a changin’….for all of us.